(when i think of you)

there is music playing in me

blue horns, electronic fingers of flame

sometimes there is other music

ringing, resounding in the air all around me

(there is always music when i think of you)

sometimes

(when i think of you)

i am a me i forgot years ago

war years, when everyone was young

the me who shared the dream with millions

the me who feared no thing

alone too long i forgot her once

a child asked questions into the night

the answers did not belong to childhood

then i forgot her again

in the hours of struggle

when someone else

(not you)

crafted life designed to kill

even without her i was not mortal

breathed on

trod the steppes that led away from those years

from all years

(even those with you)

when i lost her name i came

where there are no flowers

no terrible steppes

no killing going on

nobody asking for physics at one o'clock

and my day begins at five always tired

always late

no meals to figure out when all i want is

one half-day of nothing, nothing at all

there is more nothing here than i can make

there is no fear

i think sometimes i like this place

so far from where i used to be

i could not draw you a map

(except for the music)