fatigue | untrammeled 2

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2

fatigue

sometimes (when i think of you)
there is music playing in me
blue horns, electronic fingers of flame
sometimes there is other music
ringing, resounding in the air

(there is always music when i think of you)

sometimes (when i think of you)
i am a me i forgot years ago
war years, when everyone was young
the me who shared the dream with millions
the me who feared no thing
alone too long i forgot her once
a child asked questions into the night
the answers did not belong to childhood

then i forgot her again
in the hours of struggle
when someone else (not you)
crafted life designed to Kill
even without her i was not mortal
breathed on
trod the steppes that led away from those years
from all years

(even those with you)

when i lost her name i came
where there are no flowers
no terrible steppes
no killing going on
nobody asking for physics at one o'clock
and my day begins at five
always tired
always late
no meals to plan when all i want
is one half-day of nothing, nothing at all

there is more nothing here than i can make
there is no fear
i think sometimes i like this place
so far from where i used to be
i could not draw you a map

(except for the music)

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